The “reboot” brings it all back

The "reboot" brings it all back

By Rob Hoffman on April 5, 2018 at 6:27 AM

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The following is based on a true story: It’s October 18th, 1988, I’ve been married just over a year, and my wife and I are in the honeymoon phase of our marriage. They say the first year of marriage is the toughest, but the past year didn’t even feel like a year, it felt much more like 365 days. We’ve just concluded watching the premier of the much ballyhooed sitcom, Roseanne, starring Roseanne Barr. (From this moment forward, the actress Roseanne Barr will be referred to as “Roseanne.”) I can recall as plain as the nose on Jamie Farr’s face that I turned to my wife and said to her in the adorable way only a newlywed can talk to their spouse, “Hey baby, that was good and all, but I can’t wait to see them bring this back in 30 years…baby.”

Oh yes, I remember this episode like it was yesterday. It’s the one where I went blind. (You Tube)

Whether you loved or hated Roseanne, or whether you’re bothered by the fact that she’s a Trump supporter, or even if you find her in bad taste, it’s all kind of irrelevant. Obviously a lot of people liked her because she had one of the most successful sitcoms in television history. What’s fascinating to me is how many people watched the reboot of the program last week. ABC certainly didn’t wish to be caught unaware, since based on the performance of the premiere, (Or is it “Re-premiere?” Can something re-premiere? Technically I would say no, but who thought the show would come back and be this popular in the first place?) a broadcast that nearly 18 million viewers tuned in to see, the network signed up the show for at least one more season. Once again, another aging baby-boomer keeps her high paying gig at the expense of some up-and-coming millennial who can’t get a break.

Ma’am, try to contain yourself. (Gif)

I don’t believe the issue at play here is whether Roseanne should have been brought back, or why its return was so popular. People watch what they watch, and as we are far too painfully aware, particularly when it comes to television viewing habits, there’s no accounting for taste. In many ways, Roseanne was probably correct in choosing to resurrect her long since cancelled program since most stars fail when they attempt a comeback on television as a different character, unless they’re Ted Danson, his programs always seem to succeed. (Just for example, take Jenna Fischer, the former star of the hit television program, “The Office.” She’s one of the most beloved actresses in Hollywood today. Most men would be happy to take her home to meet their parents. In fact, most men would probably be alright taking her home to meet their wives, that’s how difficult it is to hate Jenna Fischer, if her television persona is to be believed. Despite her fame and notoriety, her new program, “Splitting Up Together,” premiered to under eight million viewers, not even half of the audience garnered by “Roseanne.”)

Roseanne is hardly the first show that has been successfully brought back from the abyss in the inane world of television. For example…

1. Twin Peaks — The program probably had to be brought back just so they could explain to people what they were watching when it originally aired.
2. Will & Grace — None of its fans seemed able to stand the fact that it went off the air in the first place. Lord knows the actors on this program have appeared everywhere possible on the small screen, attempting to recreate their successful stints on Will and Grace.
3. Dynasty — It reappeared 30 years after its original air date. It included a fantastic “will they/won’t they” moment. Will Linda Evans and Joan Collins engage in an octogenairian catfight? If so, it would have led to the first instance in the history of “catfights,” where men would gather around and yell, “Keep it on! Keep it on!”
4. Full House/Fuller House — With all due respect to my niece who lives on Long Island, who may in fact hold the record for most hours spent watching the original Full House, the program was so absurdly awful, that to watch this reboot for any other reason other than perhaps you’ve been sentenced to community service, or you’ve sworn off quality television programming for Lent, would call into question literally every decision you’ve ever made.
5. Hawaii Five-O — Let’s be honest here. There are two television programs from the 1960s and ’70s that were probably the most overrated shows in the history of the “boob tube.” One was Mission Impossible, and the other was Hawaii Five-O. The one and only reason those programs survived, and are remembered as being entertaining on any level is due to their all-time classic and unmatched opening credits with accompanying songs. I defy anybody to sit through an hour of either one of those programs without getting to watch the intro.

(Okay, so a couple of problems. Firstly, why are they showing us the inside of a jet engine. I know I have to take a plane to see Hawaii, I’m not that interested in the inner workings of the plane itself. Secondly, they make Hawaii seem kind of dangerous. Where’s the friendly fat guys with the ukuleles? Thirdly, I defy anybody, even the most hard-core fan of the program to tell me the name of the actor playing the Hawaiian police officer, or the character he played. A bonus will be rewarded to that same individual if they knew which was which, or if they even were aware that several actors portrayed different Hawaiian born cops in the opening. You Tube)

(For openers, Martin Landau was a good actor to be sure, but his taste in wives was pretty spectacular. Second, almost as good as the opening credits was the opening scene with Peter Graves, whose job it seemed was to collect burned out tapes. Rest assured, this blog will not self-destruct, the internet is forever. You Tube)

In addition to the programs that have already rebooted, there are several that are coming our way in the coming days, weeks, months, and even years. Some make sense, while others really boggle the mind:

1. Lost in Space — “Warning, warning,” the 1960s “camp” classic featuring “The Robot,” as well as the “sexually-preference challenged” Dr. Smith, is getting a another shot at the small screen starring Molly Parker, late of House of Cards. The show should look better than the original since whatever you have in your pocket in spare change is more than the original version ever spent on production values.
2. Arrested Development — Always a cult classic, “Development” is in development, and should premiere sometime in 2018. Ron Howard produces the show, and he gets things done. In all honesty, we should neither be surprised by this or impressed since the show seemingly reboots every few years.
3. Murphy Brown — I always thought it was a little overrated, and never quite lived up to its hype as the modern-day version of the Mary Tyler Moore Show. It benefitted from two big mentions. It was the focal point of an episode of Seinfeld, where Kramer actually gets to do a cameo as one of Murphy Brown’s secretaries, and from Dan Quayle, who famously accused the show of making it seem like men are not necessary in a modern family because Candace Bergen’s character was going to give birth and raise the child on her own. Now, if only there were a politician who likes to tweet about what’s going on in popular culture, this program could really take off.
4. The Office — Unlike Will & Grace, most fans of the show had come to the realization that the program had run its course. The final season of The Office was rough at best, and considering John Krasinski, Steve Carell, and Ed Helms are all pretty big movie stars, it seems unlikely that the program would be any good. Still, there’s money to be made, and it is called “show-BUSINESS.
5. Beverly Hills 90210 — This program is a little like Count Dracula in that it just won’t die. It was already rebooted once back in 2008, and apparently there’s some sort of clamouring for it to come back again? The only good thing that I can think of is that the actors can still play high school students since they were all in their 30s anyway back in 1990 when the program started, so it’ll just seem like they never left.

“Oh dear! Oh dear!, how can they even think about reviving the show without me? What’s a program about space travel without somebody to play the evil fop?” (You Tube)

Certainly, even in Hollywood, where any program that generates ratings, and therefore revenue is seen as acceptable, no matter how trashy and low-brow it may appear, there are still a few programs from the past that really should never, ever, be rebooted. Here are five shows from the past that I have heard from a “reliable source,” have already been turned down cold when the idea to reboot these programs was recently broached :

1. See it Now — The famed CBS “infotainment” program featuring legendary journalist Edward R. Murrow would most likely have little of its original pizzazz since people have been looking at things on television for about 70 years.
2. The Beverly Hillbillies — Why bother, it’s basically the storyline for every reality program on television today.
3. I-Spy — Dr. William H. Cosby Ed.D claims that he’s never been more ready to give this trailblazing television “dramedy” from the 1960s another try. Sadly, the only person that is seemingly interested in producing it is Harvey Weinstein. It’s refreshing to see that Harvey is willing to give people a second chance.
4. Blossom — The possibilities are intriguing to say the least. Consider how fragile today’s youth are, and that every bit of drama in their lives seems like the end of existence. The amount of “very special” episodes would literally be endless.
5. Gilligan’s Island — Who wouldn’t want to see this iconic ’60s sitcom return? Except this time, it would just be Gilligan, (Played by Liam Neeson, since to handle three beautiful women, he’s going to need a particular set of skills.) Mary Ann (Portrayed by Jenna Fischer) Ginger (Played by Christina Hendricks from “Mad Men”) and Lovey.(Played by Tina Louise, the original Ginger.)

I suppose if they do decide to reboot Gilligan’s Island, they’ll probably have to eliminate some of the more “racially sensitive” material, like having a forgotten Japanese sailor found alive on the island. Thanks a lot, Obama! (You Tube)

The success of all of these reboots should really come as no surprise. Reruns have always been popular, and while much is made of all of the new programs that companies such as Netflix as well as Amazon have been producing over the past couple of years, many people turn to these streaming services to watch reruns of their favorite programs. For many young people who are in their teens and twenties, services such as Netflix, Hulu, as well as Amazon have provided these viewers with an opportunity to discover some of the classic and popular shows from the 1970s, ’80s, and ’90s.

Either from the point of nostalgia, or due to the comfort it brings to watch something from the past where we know the outcome, as well as the fact that there is something safe and familiar in the story and product that we are viewing, watching something from the past can be much like eating comfort food. It provides for us a “safe-space” in an otherwise unpredictable world.

Were it not for Trump’s Muslim ban, I Dream of Jeannie would be a wonderful program to reboot. Barbara Eden is alive, and a robust 86 years old, and while Larry Hagman is gone, we could perhaps find out why he didn’t have a southern accent on “Jeannie,” but did when he starred in Dallas. I don’t mean as the character “J. R.,” I mean when he was interviewed in real life. That always puzzled me. (Getty Images)

I can’t say that I’ve been swept up in “reboot fever.” Watching programs that have been brought back is a lot like eating a Twinkie or HoHo, or any other treat from your youth. They’re never really as good as you remember them to be. Sometimes I’ll switch around and find a program from the past that I used to love, and I can’t believe how bad it is. The other night I was switching around and came upon the 1980s cult classic Valley Girl, starring Deborah Foreman and Nicholas Cage. The acting was horrible, and the entire production was so cheesy, I couldn’t believe we actually used to watch movies like that. Perhaps the next time somebody in a meeting in some swank Beverly Hills eating establishment yells out to the other Hollywood big shots at his table, “Okay Dudes, I’ve got it. A reboot of Cheers, except this time, it doesn’t take place in a bar.” Instead of agreeing wholeheartedly, pretend you didn’t hear what the boss said, and ask somebody to pass the guacamole.