New York and the three state solution

  1. New York City — This would of course include the five boroughs or counties which make up New York City. They are as any good-hearted New Yorker should know; Brooklyn or Kings County, Manhattan, Queens, Richmond County or Staten Island, and the Bronx. (It’s always “the Bronx,” why not, “the Queens?”
  2. Montauk — This section of what used to be New York State would include the counties of Nassau, Suffolk, Westchester, and Rockland. Does this mean that Yonkers would be its capital? Personally I would lobby for North Massapequa because you know, it’s the hub of the planet. By the way, how long under this arrangement would it take for Staten Island to beg entry into this suburban enclave? I’ll bet you every landfill in Staten Island that they are not going to love this arrangement.
  3. New Amsterdam — This designation would include everything north of Westchester County and that also means Western, New York as well. In other words, “Upstate.” How ironic that after all of these years of being outraged over being referred to as “Upstate,” a term that essentially refers to the fact that there is no differentiation to all of New York State north of Westchester, it is being proposed that we now codify what every “upstater” has objected to for decades.




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