Karen really wants to see the manager
Six ways to find out if you might be a “Karen.”
I’ve learned a lot from social media the past 10 or 15 years, and I can say with great confidence that most of it has been useless. I’ve picked up a decent amount of slang from social media as well, although again, I’m not sure it’s of any real value. About the only positive I can glean from my tertiary knowledge of what’s “trending” is the ability to say something that makes it sound like I know what’s what. For example, if somebody informs me of something that is pathetic or retched, or just plain sad, I will typically respond by saying, “Oh, #sad.” I’ve learned that there are individuals on YouTube who are in many ways more famous and more successful than many of the so- called movie stars and entertainers that appear on television. Thanks to social media, I’ve even become aware of the fact that there are people who are thanks to the “interweb,” known around the world as influencers or people who “influence” what other people wear, or do for fun. (Kind of like me cutting my hair like Keith Moon, and getting red Converse All-Stars because I was “influenced” by Keith Moon I guess?)
It is in this vein that I can now add to this ignominious list of things I’ve learned from social media, the things I neither understand, find of value, or even believe are of any benefit to us as a society, the idea that middle aged white women who complain about things in public and “Demand to see the manager!” are heretofore to be known as “Karens,” as in “Check out the white privileged “Karen” calling the cops on the African-American man who has the nerve to be sitting in his driveway talking on his phone while she attempts to teach her poodle to do algebra.” How did this come to pass? Why “Karen?” I mean, if you’re looking to stereotype white women of a certain age with a certain attitude, why not Carol? How about Jane? Oh wait, Janet, that’s a name that just screams, “How dare you?” I mean really, there are so many, what about Marlene, Arlene, or Rosalie? (Oh wait, I just named my mother’s “Mah Jong” group in North Massapequa circa 1972. I must have gotten a whiff of halva, that smell always brings me back, my bad.)
When you Google “Karen” the search box finishes the word with this phrase, “Can I speak to the manager?” Then if you type that in, and switch to images this poor or obnoxious woman, depending on your perspective pops up. The haircut apparently is a big part of the persona of a “Karen.” What’s happening to this country? (imgflip)
I find this entire idea regarding “Karen” as a label for entitled white female behavior comical for many reasons, including the fact that I have a close family member named Karen. I have never found her to act as if she is entitled, or at least not any more than anybody else, and I’ve never known her to demand to see the manager or yell at the waiter to send things back, again, at least not at a rate that dwarfs the non-Karen segment of our population. I wonder if she even knows that her name has become an adjective? She’s not big into social media, so unless somebody brought it up to her, (And it’s not going to be me) I highly doubt she knows, but if she were to find out, I feel I can say with great confidence that she wouldn’t care either.
So h0w did this all begin? Why “Karen?” Well, it’s a name that reached its peak as a baby name in 1965, this means that most people named Karen are middle aged. Hmm, perhaps this is good old fashioned ageism? Of course, there could be other factors at play here. According to theconversation.com, over 80% of the U.S. population in 1965 was white, which means that most of the people named Karen you encounter on the street are going to be white and middle age. However, that’s not to say that the name “Karen” has a monopoly on entitled behavior. Again, according to theconversation.com, the African-American community has for many years used generic first names to label white women who they felt they needed to be wary of lest they wield their “privilege” at their expense. Some of these names include, but are not limited to, #bbqbecky, #permitpatti, #golfcartgail and #cornerstonecaroline. These were the women who would show up on Twitter all outraged over what were basically African-American individuals who were engaged in typical mundane activities, and felt the need to call the police. I don’t know, #bbqbecky sounds like a good time Who wouldn’t want a woman who knows her way around the bbq?
(This woman became known as the “Central Park Karen” when she called the police on an African-American man who was trying to enjoy a pleasant day of bird watching, and had reminded “Karen” to put her dog on a leash. She proceeded to call the police claiming she was being threatened by a “black man.” This video became the penultimate PSA for “white privilege” in America. (You Tube)
Now I know what many of you are thinking, “Rob, how do I know if I’m a ‘Karen?’” Well, for openers, if you’re name is Karen, then guilty as charged. As for everyone else, here’s a handy list of “Karenisms,” that will allow you to see if you have ever exhibited this kind of behavior before. If you answer yes to at least three of these, you may be a “Karen.” Have you ever?
- Given raisins out to children on Halloween?
- Had to speak to the manager at Burger King because they didn’t give you napkins or a ketchup packet at the drive-through?
- Berated the poor kid/cashier because they didn’t honor your expired coupon?
- Lost your mind because you couldn’t get a booth at the diner?
- Demanded an “Asymmetrical bob” for a haircut?
- This one is somewhat debatable, but at least according to several websites, “Karen’s” often rail against vaccinations, and have led the so-called “anti-vax” movement.
Affixing a name to a personality type or behavior is nothing new. For years names were used to describe a certain kind of individual, usually representative of a minority group, and they were rarely complimentary. For example, one of the harshest names that African-Americans used to label certain behaviors of other African-American men was to call or refer to somebody as an “Uncle Tom.” The name “Uncle Tom” derives from the famous abolitionist novel of the mid-19th century Uncle Tom’s Cabin. An “Uncle Tom,” is a derogatory term for African-Americans who are decidedly subservient to white people. In the book, the character “Uncle Tom” while not behaving in a resistant manner, is actually heroic and human, a character trait not really seen in African-Americans in literature back in 1852.
Names can also be used as verbs. For example, if somebody were “to Kanye” you, it means they interrupted you the way Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift at the Grammy’s a few years ago. If somebody were to be described as going all “Ike Turner” on somebody, it would indicate that somebody committed an act of domestic abuse or violence, as the real life Ike Turner was infamous for. Historically or politically, to have acted in a “Machiavellian” manner would indicate a behavior that is cunning or scheming for the purpose of securing power, as penned by 16th century Italian diplomat Niccolo Machiavelli. There’s also the time-tested practice of calling somebody by the name of a famous person sarcastically in order to put them down. For example, referring to somebody as “Einstein” when they’ve done something stupid, or labeling somebody as “MacGyver” after they’ve put something together that didn’t really take a lot of expertise. I’m guessing that we’re not far from the time in history when anybody who acts like a fool, says something racist, boasts about imaginary accomplishments, or just lies for the sake of lying will be described as “Trumpian.”
NBA Hall of Famer, and former Knicks great Willis Reed was hard-working, heroic, and most decidedly a non-controversial individual when he played for the Knicks in the 1960s and ’70s. One day one of his teammates, forward Cazzie Russell, a much more outspoken player, particularly on issues related to civil rights, referred to Reed as an “Uncle Tom,” due to his non boat-rocking demeanor. Reed, who was 6–10, 250 lbs of muscle looked at Russell and said, “Watch this “Uncle Tom” kick your ass.” Interestingly, Cazzie kept his opinions regarding Reed to himself from that point on. (Getty Images)
One of the things that many white people are struggling with is the idea of reverse discrimination, in other words, the idea that a white person, “Karens” for example, can be stereotyped as whiny and entitled, but to call out the stereotypical behaviors of a person of color would be viewed as outright racism. On the one hand, any rudimentary understanding of history demonstrates that people of color have been on the receiving end of far more discrimination, racism, bigotry, and stereotyping, than people of European descent, and typically at the hands of people of European descent. No lame attempt by self-aggrieved white people about how their particular ethnic group was treated comes close to how history has played out over the past 500 years when it comes to the treatment of people of color. People of color were enslaved and colonized and exploited in disgusting and disturbing ways, and we as a nation and as a planet are still living with the after-effects of this devastation.
However, does that make it acceptable to stereotype all white individuals as so-called people of privilege, and deny justifiable outrage on the part of white people who may or may not be given fair treatment throughout their travels. Also, isn’t it sexism to stereotype women as “Karens” who feel that they are not being treated fairly? Don’t women, including white women bear the scars of 2000 years of unfair treatment and discrimination in Western Civilization? Stating that a woman is entitled and to discard their right to assert themselves in our society doesn’t sound like a way to bring equality between the races. It sounds like a double standard, and it sounds like sexism.
“Karen’s” can become outraged when they don’t get to sit in a booth when they request one in a diner so they certainly would be outraged if they had to sit at the counter…especially if they were surrounded by hostile people of a majority race that screamed and harassed them as they asserted their right to sit in a restaurant wherever they wished. Oh wait, is this what they mean by privileged? (Getty Images)
I don’t think it’s particularly fair to say that just because you are white you don’t have the right to complain or demand quality and courteous service. However, there is still a healthy dose of tone-deafness at play here insofar that what many people complain about doesn’t even come close to describing the injustices faced by too many in our society. I also wonder if there’s a name for white men who complain a lot and “need to see the manager.” If not, then that doesn’t seem particularly fair. What’s a good white man’s name from the ’60s that indicates a type of older white male who “needs to see the manager?” Well, according to Wikipedia anyway, the most popular white male’s name in 1965 was “Michael.” Okay, from now on when a white man wants to see the manager, or wants to send their food back, or is simply dissatisfied with the service they will henceforth be known as a “Mike,” and nobody wants to be like Mike, right?