Intergalactic illegal aliens, the true dreamers
Why travel this far just for anal probing?
It seems as if we are in a never-ending loop of futility regarding the topic of illegal aliens. Should we build a wall? Should we round them up and send them back? Should we grant amnesty? Should we make an exception for the so-called “dreamers?” Should we close down sanctuary cities? These are all question that are filled with merit, but the fact is, we may be close to dealing with a much more significant invasion of illegal aliens. I am speaking of course about the idea that we are not alone in the universe, and that our celestial neighbors may be planning a visit, if they’re not already here. President Trump, find your plans for your “space wall” and get cracking!
It’s big and beautiful just like the man says, but I fear it will be inefficient for the type of invasion that we may be in for. (Your Tube)
Let’s face it, ever since the dawn of written history, human beings have been fascinated with the idea of alien life forms. Mankind has pondered the idea of whether we are alone in the universe, or if there are other species just waiting to make contact with us for thousands of years. Many believe they have already arrived, and are living amongst us as we speak.
There are those who love to point to the pyramids in Egypt, “crop circles,” the heads on Easter Island, the stone monuments at Stonehenge, as well as the success of the Kardashians to point out that we have already been visited on numerous occasions by beings from other worlds. NASA through its unmanned probes as well as the Hubble telescope has already discovered several planets that match many of the traits found here on Earth that would allow these alien worlds to sustain life as we know it.
The concept of “life as we know it” is in and of itself an interesting topic for discussion. My 11th grade Earth Science teacher Mr. Goodstone told us that any life found anywhere in the universe must come from a planet or moon that contains water in one of its three stages; liquid, ice, or vaporous. That doesn’t mean that a planet or moon can’t have life without water, it simply means that it would have to be a life form that we possess no knowledge of. We would be completely ignorant of how it subsists, and survives. This species would be a total “unknown-unknown” if you will.
We have often been lead to believe that an alien creature or being from space would have to be monstrous in its appearance. Our imaginations run wild with the idea of some horrible lizard like, sharp-fanged, tentacle filled monster that could survive anything we could throw at it, and yet somehow at the same time, be of superior intelligence to that of our own. (As if anything could be smarter than us!) However, a simple look at physics and astronomy would seem to contradict this idea. Those who believe in the “Big Bang Theory,” (Let’s call them scientists, and people who read.) are probably aware that all of the elements of the universe came from this singular event. Therefore, if the elements found here on earth can be found on all of the other planets and moons, it stands to reason that any life that is found on any planet or moon would have to resemble in some form the life found here on Earth.
Despite our imaginations and enthusiasm for finding “intelligent” life in the universe, the best chance we probably have of finding life outside of our own planet is probably in the form of some type of bacteria. Hopefully it will be that good bacteria that helps us digest, like the kind that is found in our stomach, and not something like syphilis. (Can you get VD from a space toilet?) (You Tube)
A mind no less impressive than Stephen Hawking, a man who has outlived his life expectancy by about 50 years is beyond certain that there is definitely intelligent life to be found outside of our own throughout the galaxy. However, that’s about the end of the good news according to Hawking. In fact, the esteemed physicist claims that alien life may be, “rapacious marauders roaming the cosmos in search of resources to plunder, and planets to conquer and colonize.” (They sound like white people.)
Actually, Hawking claims that if an alien life forms were to reach out to us, we should be very wary of answering back. Hawking compares the idea of an alien life form reaching Earth to the encounter of Columbus with the Native Americans. How potentially damaging might that be? Some have estimated that in less than 100 years from the time that Columbus and the Spanish arrived in the “New World,” the population of the natives plummeted form 20 million to one million.
According to Stephen Hawking, an encounter with space aliens would be akin to the arrival of Columbus in the Western Hemisphere. Hey, at least there will be good tapas. (You Tube)
In a universe as large as this one, the odds of us finding intelligent life, and making contact with it/them remains a fairly remote possibility. Even if we did, who would believe it? In a world ravaged by “fake news,” and “alternative facts,” there would be as many people who would refuse to believe that there was intelligent life in the universe as there are people who believe we already have made contact with an alien species, and are holding alien life in “area 51,” or “Route 66,” or some such place. (There are people who think the Moon landing was staged so really, I’m not sure anyone would believe the government if it said that it had made contact with alien life.)
However, what if we did make contact with intelligent life from another world? I’m not talking about an amoeba or some sort of “space snot,” but an actual physical being that we could communicate with. What would we wish to gain from such an encounter? Here are a few questions that I believe most people would want to garner from meeting an extraterrestrial being;
- “Are you guys the only other beings in the universe besides us, or are there others…not that there’s anything wrong with you guys.”
- “You guys seem to really have it all together being able to reach us from so far away, what are we doing wrong…a.k.a., how come we’re so stupid compared to you all?”
- “Our history is filled with almost limitless amounts of violence, suffering, and unspeakable amounts of cruelty that we have done to one another. Do you guys have that in your history as well, or we just really awful?”
- “Have you guys come across any evidence of an all-powerful being? He’s average height and weight, a big white beard, what? No, not Santa, let me finish. A big white beard, wears “mandals,” a robe, and shoots lightning bolts out of his fingers.”
- “Oh, and before I forget, a lot of people think he has a son, about 5–9, 155 lbs, washboard abs, long “rock-star hair,” and according to some has been known to walk on water.” “No, the water wasn’t frozen at the time, obviously walking on ice wouldn’t be nearly as impressive.”
- “Have you come across any evidence of life after death?”
- “Are you missing any of the following; A Yeti? A Loch-Ness Monster? A hairy creature with big feet?
- “Fess up, did you build the pyramids?”
- “Tell me one thing you’ve learned from anal probing. Just one!”
- “Okay, and as long we’re on the subject of anal probing, why do you only seem to be interested in what’s up the ass of hillbillies? Did you guys see Deliverance on Blue-Ray?”
Huge brain, no ears, nose, or lips. Maybe they do all of that anal probing because they think our ass is our face?(You Tube)
Considering the size of the universe, and how far away the planets that we believe could actually support intelligent life are, whoever makes the trek to see us would most likely have conquered time travel, or at least have learned to travel at the speed of light. Would alien beings actually want to share their technology with us? If they have been studying us from afar, they probably know we’re kind of the “goofballs of the galaxy,” so I’m not sure they would trust us with anything more complicated than a protractor.
Where does our preoccupation with the quest for alien life come from? Other than why we are here, and what happens when we die, our endless curiosity regarding if alien life exists is probably the most universally asked question amongst mankind. Would the knowledge of the existence of intelligent life from other worlds cause a tremor in organized religion? How would Muslims, Christians, Jews, or Hindus explain this phenomenon? For most of our written history, the Earth was considered the center of the universe and G_d’s greatest creation. How are we going to deal with the idea that planet “Gamma-Hydra three”, is actually the Lord’s favorite and most ideal planet, and we are nothing more than some experiment gone awry? In the old Testament, Yahweh describes himself as a “jealous G_d.” If we are made in his image, we are not going to take this slight in stride.
If every alien “space-babe” looked like Yvonne Craig, applications to work at NASA would be through the roof! (You Tube)
Perhaps the day will arrive when a benevolent space alien will arrive on our planet, and proclaim peace throughout the galaxy. Maybe they will land right here in the good old U.S.A? They will say, “Take me to your leader!” Unfortunately, he will most likely be hitting on the golf cart girl at Mar-a-Lago, and all will be lost. I guess what I’m saying is, “Hey alien dudes, leave well enough alone, or one day, we may come calling on you.